December 31, 2021

Book Review:  "When Men Behave Badly," by David Buss. 2021

 If you are interested in sexual conflicts, sexual desire, and mating, read this book.

The evolutionary lens examines the hidden roots of sexual conflict, lurking in plain sight once you understand the empirical research findings presented in this important book.

Sexual conflicts stem in part from evolved sex differences that underly the sexual psychology of females and males.

These sexual conflicts show up in relationships between the sexes: sexual harassment; intimate partner violence; sexual assault by strangers, acquaintances and those who claim to be lovers; and stalking in the aftermath of breakups.

For example, Andrew Cuomo is the most recent of too many men who treat women as sexual prey. The 165 page report prepared by Letitia James, the Attorney General of New York investigating Governor Cuomo, highlights his behavior: buttocks grabbing, breast grabbing, leering comments and questions such as, “Have you cheated on your husband?” “Have you been with older men?” “Would you find me a girlfriend?” Cuomo saw a woman state trooper who worked for him and got her assigned to his security detail and then tagged her for harassment.

Buss reminds us that biologists define sex by the size of the gametes. Males have small gametes - sperm - DNA packed with 23 chromosomes, and a flagellum or outboard motor. Females have large gametes with 23 chromosomes and nutrient filled eggs.

Human males make several million sperms per day or about 1,500 per second. Males release anywhere from 20 to 300 million sperm cells in a single milliliter of semen.

For females, during fetal life there are about 6 to 7 million eggs produced. From this time no new eggs are produced. At birth, there are approximately 1 million eggs; by puberty, only 300,000 eggs remain. Of the remaining eggs, only 300 to 400 will be ovulated during a women’s reproductive years.

Men can produce a child with sexual intercourse (in minutes some women say) with no further investment. Women require a metabolically costly nine months of internal gestation to produce that same child, often accompanied by months of breast feeding.

Dr. Buss develops many research based findings to help us understand sexual conflict and why some men behave badly.

These evidenced based concepts include:

Short-term vs Long-term mating strategies

“I was looking for a lifetime lover, and she was looking for a friend.”
—- Jim Croce

Attractive Discrepancies

Types of Sexual Deception - including common deceptions in computer dating sites

Intimate Partner Violence

Stalking

Number of Reported Sexual Partners for Males and Females

Distortions in Males Regarding Perceived Cues of Female Sexual Interest

Affairs in Males and Females

Jealousy in Males and Females

Mate Guarding

Backup Mates

The Dark Triad of Personality Traits in Men Who Behave Badly…and more.

I especially liked Chapter 3: “Struggles Within Mateships,” which includes a section on, “The Evolutionary Recipe for Mating Harmony.”

Go to YouTube to listen to Dr. Buss talk with many perceptive interviewers. I particularly liked Dr. Michael Shermer’s interview with Dr. Buss.

I recommend reading, “The Evolution of Human Sexuality,” by Don Symons, a classic text Dr. Buss mentions in many of his interviews.

Professor Buss concludes his book with the following trenchant remarks:

“Men’s sexual violence toward women remains the most widespread human rights problem in the world. Deep knowledge of men’s and women’s sexual psychology will help create conditions to reduce sexual violence. Information about the evolutionary of sexual conflict will help. Knowledge that women are not passive pawns in a male game will help. Progress rests with the recognition of a fundamental change in sexual morality—-that women themselves, not boyfriends, husbands, or fathers, should have sole autonomy over their own bodies. Female choice about when, where, with whom, and under what conditions they consent to sex is the deepest and most fundamental component of women’s sexual psychology. It is a fundamental human right. Although men have coevolved strategies to undermine it, that freedom of choice should never be compromised. A deep understanding of coevolution of sexual conflict in humans will not magically solve all problems. But I am convinced it is the light and the way.”

Amen.